Just Listen!

Have you ever noticed how quickly people move to give you advice? Or how easy it is for us to ask for advice? But how often do you actually ask someone to just listen to you? I mean truly listen, not just two friends sitting around sharing stories, but listen like a trained professional would. And why do we have to PAY people to listen? Seems crazy doesn't it?

But truth be known unless trained properly we aren't very good listeners. Test yourself...I bet the majority of the time you will find when your in a conversation your either thinking of how to add to the conversation or your thinking about what advice you will give.

On the flip side, try actually asking someone to just listen to you. If your anything like me it can feel a bit awkward at first and few people can actually do it, so it can be frustrating.

I am not going to go into all the ways to be a good listener, there is tons of writing on that. Personally, just as important, is being able to feel comfortable asking someone to just listen. Here are some tips...

• Set the boundaries, make sure the other person realizes that it is not that you're not interested in their opinion or experience, but just not now... now, you just want to be heard. 
• Ask them to try to be an active listener, meaning they are not just sitting back and checking out.
• It is OK for them to ask questions to clarify what you are saying, this shows they are listening.
• Set a time limit, no offense, but no one wants to sit for hours active listening...it is exhausting
• It is OK for you to ask for advice at the end of the time limit if you feel the need

I say try it sometime, it is amazing what someone can learn about you, what you can learn about them, and how good you feel afterwards, AND you will often walk away with a solution, no advice needed.

Take a chance...ask "Will you listen to me?"

PS: must give credit where credit is due, the idea of this blog came from my business partner Julie Mignone, thank you Julie!

I love the Toad the Wet Sprocket song, "I will not take these things for granted",  it speaks to me each time.

It reminds me to look around and appreciate all that I have. It is especially true today as I am unemployed. There are many journeys in life and what this journey is teaching me and, what Toad reminds me to do, is to not take my family, friends and acquaintances for granted. I have friends that are great at keeping in touch with EVERYONE and that amazes me. Because of this journey it is something I will strive to do. I want to do this because I am amazed at how wonderful everyone has been through all this. I have reached out to people that I thought for sure would be saying "yes I will help you" but not really mean it. Not that they are bad people, but it wasn't as if we were best friends either, so they really don't owe me anything. But they still put out their hands and have helped me through this. And then there are my friends, all I can say is wow....the support has been overwhelming. From making introductions for me to providing aversions when I needed them, to just believing in me. Finally but certainly not least important was my family, I have once again had to go to them with my hand out, and this time at no fault of my own, and they have graciously supported me (and yes I know I am lucky I have a family that can, believe me, I know).

So, I vow that in return I will not take these things for granted, I will work harder at keeping in touch with every person I touch and create some sort of relationship with. I will also do my best to pay it forward anytime I am given the opportunity.

Its a good reminder isn't it? Are you on a personal journey and what has it taught you to not take for granted?